"Confusion in her eyes that says it all..."

I feel so unhappy today.  I am so sick of this, I sometimes feel so high and the rest of the time I am dozy. Sick of useless medication and sick of my behavior towards life. I wish time could stop because then I would sleep forever. I would only wake up when forever went away and fully disappeared. I don't know what I have to do to finally grow up, like, how to act properly in society, because I want to. I look like a child, but I am not a child anymore :( I am doing it all wrong, I just don't know how to do it right, damn it...